Funny Things in retail

Gold Nuts:

My last year in high school I got a job at a home improvement store as a cashier. I remember I was on a register next to the tool department. There was another cashier that was training me. She showed me really quick how to page on the intercom and how to ring people up. She told me that she had to go to the bathroom and if I would be okay to run register by myself. I said yeah I should be okay. It was a busy saturday at the home improvement store and I started to have a lot of people in my line so I got scared but I tried to stay focus on what I knew. A guy in my line was purchasing washers, nuts and screws but I noticed the nuts were not in a bag with a barcode on them and they were a different color than the silver metal washers and screws. So I asked the customer if he new the item number for the nuts and he said no. I remembered how to page on the intercom so I gave that a try. I picked up the phone and paged "I need an associate from the hardware department to register ten. I have a guy here with two gold nuts and no item number", attention hardware associates I have a customer with two gold nuts and no item number". I hear everyone laughing, my customer turning bright red and my manager comes right to my register. I didn't know why everyone was reacting this way, because I was nervous because it was my first day and I was just wondering how long is that cashier going to take in the bathroom before she comes back to finish training me. The guy in hardware came laughing and the manager was actually laughing but said that I can't make those kind of pages because it sounded so not right. I finally got it and my face turned bright red, but that was a day I will never forget.
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A customer with wood:

I was on register when this one guy came up with all this lumber and some without item numbers. I have no idea on which is which wood. There is too much wood at this store and it's all different sizes and different names. So I picked up the phone to call the lumber department to get this information. But I knew that I need to get the measurement of the wood to advise the department. I accidentally pressed the page button instead of the call button while I was saying to the customer "Sir, how long is your wood"? I hear myself echoing all through out the store, while he replies "huh it's pretty long, I think it's 10 feet". I hear people laughing and I became so embarassed because this always happens to me.

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Armpit man:

So one summer day I'm working on the register. This heavy older man that smelled like sweaty armpits comes into my line to check out. I seriously threw up in my mouth. I just wanted to complete the transaction and send him on his way. I went to look over to tell him his total for the bill and I see his pickle coming out of his pants. I said  "Oh my god sir, your private is on my counter you need to zip up your pants". He didn't hear me or he didn't care what I had to say and he took out this bag out of his pants full of change. So as I thought it couldn't get any worse he empties the bag with change on the counter. I seriously couldn't take it. He smelled like armpit, His pickle was hanging out and he was paying with nickles and pennies. I called my manager and said I need you to come to my register as soon as possible. I have a guy here who is refusing to put his pickle back in his pants. My mangager said what? I said please come over here now. My manager came and escorted him out. What a day.